Narcissist Wants To Be Friends After Discard
Breaking the ice with a narcissist may be a traumatic encounter characterized by extreme drama and manipulation. What happens if the Narcissist wishes to remain with the person they left after the breakup? This scenario isn’t typical and frequently hides deeper motives.
In this article, we will explore the narcissistic world of friendships after breakups, examining the reasons that drive the Narcissist to remain connected and the harmful character of the relationships. We will also explore the importance of adopting a no-contact approach as a way to regain control, focus on emotional healing, and free yourself from the grip of a narcissistic ex-partner.
Understanding Narcissistic Behavior Post-Breakup
Breakups can be difficult for anyone; however, when you’re dealing with an ex-partner with a personality disorder, the aftermath may be particularly turbulent. To understand why a narcissist would prefer to stay friends following the breakup, it’s crucial to understand their distinct behavior habits during this time.
1. Denial and Minimization
- Narcissists frequently minimize the significance of a breakup, denying its real-life value or minimizing the circumstances that led to it. They might say they’re just making up stories or the division did not occur.
- These techniques are used to make their ex-partner look bad and make them question their feelings and perceptions.
2. Grandiose Promises
- To get back their ex-partner, they may make grand promises, such as the marriage proposal or matching long-held desires. They try to entice the desires and fears of their ex-partner.
- But the promises made are usually temporary, with the Narcissist going back to their normal behavior once they have regained control.
3. Smear Campaigns
- Narcissists may launch smear campaigns against their ex-partners, circulating false stories and seeking validation and empathy from other people.
- The behavior could vary from insults to massive attempts to ruin the former partner’s reputation while also claiming the desire to be reconciled.
4. Excessive Hoovering
- Hoovering is a trick tactic that narcissists employ to gain access back into their former partner’s life by presenting as innocent, compassionate, or indifferent.
- The intention is to infuse guilt and confusion or even doubt within the mind of the ex-partner and make it more probable for them to engage with the person who is a narcissist.
Motives Behind The Narcissist’s Desire To Be Friends
If a narcissist has the desire to keep friends following a breakup, it is essential to recognize that their motives aren’t motivated by real friendship or even goodwill. They have a variety of reasons to have you as a part of their lives. Here are a few primary motives for the Narcissist’s desire to make friends:
1. Friends and Benefits
For the Narcissist, maintaining a friendship might mean continuing a friends-with-benefits relationship. This lets them enjoy intimate physical contact without obligation and can result in power imbalances and manipulation of emotions.
2. Narcissistic Supply
Narcissists thrive on the attention and admiration of others, which is also known as narcissistic consumption. They might want to remain an emancipator of this supply, and they will enjoy the satisfaction of being admired and adored, even when it’s not on their terms.
3. Access to Resources
If you’ve provided the financial support or resources throughout this relationship, your Narcissist might prefer to stay friends in order to enjoy these advantages. This may include financial support as well as a place to stay and access to belongings.
4. Impressing Others
Narcissists are usually motivated by a desire to look attractive in the eyes of other people. They might wish to maintain relationships to earn the attention and admiration of being an “great person” or a responsible parent, particularly when children are involved.
5. Lack of Secure Narcissistic Supply
Sometimes, the Narcissist’s primary supply of narcissistic lust doesn’t meet their needs, or the relationship isn’t working. In these instances, they might use former partners as a second supplier, particularly in the event that they believe you’ll offer the attention they need.
6. You’ll Take Them Back
One of the main reasons that a narcissist is eager to become friends is because they are aware that you have a longing for their company. They love being the focus of attention and love the satisfaction of regaining your love, even if it’s just for a few days.
The Unhealthy Nature Of Narcissistic Friendships
The process of maintaining a relationship with a narcissist following breaking up is a draining and harmful experience. The relationships often lack the real connection and empathy which are vital to healthy relationships. Here’s why narcissistic friends are unhealthy in the first place:
1. One-Sided and Self-Serving
Narcissists see relationships, and even friendships as a transactional affair and self-serving. They are mostly concerned with their own personal needs, and are seeking the attention of others, awe, and control, yet they do not offer real support or the reciprocity they deserve.
2. Emotional Exploitation
In relationships with narcissistic friends, the Narcissist is likely to continue to use the person as a receptacle for their emotions. They dump their angst anger, and emotional baggage onto their former partner and show no concern for their wellbeing.
3. Manipulative Tactics
Narcissists frequently employ manipulative strategies to keep control of their friendships. They might employ gaslighting, guilt-tripping or love-bombing to make people feel lost or emotionally controlled.
4. Lack of Boundaries
Narcissists are known for their disregard for rules of engagement. They can invade their partner’s private space emotionally and physically, which can cause feelings of anxiety and fear.
5. Continuous Drama and Turmoil
Narcissistic relationships are defined by a constant cycle of conflict, drama, and tension. Narcissists’ erratic behavior and manipulative emotional state can create anxiety and stress for the person who is.
6. Prevent Personal Growth
Engaging in a narcissistic relationship can slow personal development and heal. It hinders an individual in moving on and establishing happier, more satisfying relationships.
7. Emotional Exhaustion
Being a victim of a narcissist’s perpetual desire for attention and approval is exhausting emotionally. The bond may cause the other person to feel tired and emotionally depleted.
8. No Genuine Empathy
Narcissists aren’t able to develop true empathy, emotional bonding and connection. They view other people as goal to be achieved and are unable to provide an emotional and love that genuine friendships demand.
Why No-Contact Is Essential
In the case of a post-breakup narcissistic friendship, the implementation of a strict no-contact approach is not just an option, but rather a fundamental requirement. Here are the compelling reasons keeping contact is vital in dealing with an ex-partner who is narcissistic:
1. Regain Control
The manipulative ways of a narcissist can make you feel emotionally overwhelmed and in a state of utter helplessness. Contact with no-contact allows you to take back control of your life and well-being.
2. Prioritize Healing
Recovering from a relationship that is narcissistic is an emotional process that requires separation. The absence of contact allows you to concentrate on your own healing process with no constant interruption from the Narcissist.
3. Break the Trauma Bond
Narcissistic relationships usually cause trauma-related bonds, which make it hard for people to break up with them. The absence of contact is essential to break those bonds, and then moving on in your life.
4. Prevent Emotional Manipulation
The desire of a narcissist to stay with friends is often motivated by the desire to control and manipulate your emotions. Contact is a shield against emotional abuse.
5. Avoid the Cycle of Drama
Being in contact with a narcissist will lead to an endless cycle of conflict, drama, and emotional tension. Contact with them is the only way to stop this constant roller-coaster.
6. Encourage Personal Growth
In a non-contact environment, you have the freedom and the freedom to focus on your own growth improvement, self-improvement and the chance to develop healthy, fulfilling relationships.
7. Set Boundaries
The law of no-contact sets clearly defined boundaries that stop the Narcissist from encroaching on your privacy and your emotional wellbeing.
Resolving the aftermath of a breakup someone who is a narcissist is an uphill process that is marked by drama, manipulation, and emotional chaos. If a narcissist reveals an intention to stay with friends even after their breakup, it is crucial to understand the motivations that are often behind it and serve their selfish interests more than real friendship.
Recognizing the negative nature of narcissistic relationships is crucial. They lack compassion, mutuality, and emotional support that characterizes real connections, and often lead to exhaustion and emotional abuse.
So, the adoption of a strictly no-contact approach is not only a good idea and beneficial, it’s essential. Contact allows you to gain control, focus on recovery, and break through the bonds of trauma that bind you to the Narcissist. It provides a barrier against manipulation of emotions along with the cycle of stress, giving you the ability to define clearly defined boundaries and ensure your emotional wellbeing.
The bottom line is that contact is the way towards personal development as well as self-discovery and the possibility of building healthy, fulfilling relationships. It’s the lifeline to help you get back on track break free from the shackles of a narcissistic ex, and begin a path of self-improvement, healing, and emotional healing. You deserve more than the stress and emotional turmoil of a toxic relationship. By deciding to avoid contact and avoiding contact, you are taking the first step toward a better, more positive future.